In ancient Israel, it came to pass
that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife
by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and
long of leg. Indeed, she had been called "Amazon Dot Com." And she said unto
Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy
goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did
look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but
simply said, "How, dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the
towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale,
and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can
be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long, and decided
he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were
an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price,
without ever moving from his tent.
But this success did arouse envy.
A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and was
accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading
as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic
Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.
And lo, the land was so feverish
with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one
noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother
William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed
did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads
and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham,
what we have started is being taken over by others." And as Abraham looked
out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known "eBay" he said, "We
need a name that reflects what we are." And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious
Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO!," said Abraham.
And that is how it all began. It
wasn't Al Gore after all.